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Tips for Successfully Marketing a Mentoring Program

Top Tips for Successfully Marketing Your Association’s Mentoring Program

Few years ago, Associations Now wrote about the importance of mentoring for membership retention, but what makes the program successful? No matter how well-conceived and run your association mentoring program is, its success will ultimately be determined by your ability to engage and excite your membership. The marketing of your mentoring program is going to compete with a host of other messages and priorities and you will have to work hard to gain attention and spur action.

Here are our top 6 tips for effectively promoting your mentoring program.

Enlist internal champions early

It is important to line up your internal stakeholders early – not only to sell the idea to the board, but also to secure ongoing communications support.  Think ahead about the champions the program will need for success.  If your organisation has State Chapters or other groups whose support you will require to communicate with members, get them on the bus now.

Get the Marketing Department on board

In our experience, Association marketing teams can get very nervous about “over-communication” with members.  Make sure that you explain the mentoring initiative to your marketing department and secure their support for your communications plan in advance.  Any roadblocks to your marketing once you start to roll out could seriously compromise the reach and effectiveness of your mentoring program.

Send a Personal Message from the Top

We have found that the one piece of communication that is most effective in grabbing attention is a personal email from the CEO or other (very) senior executive.  The greater the seniority of the sender, the stronger the signal that this is an important initiative, and in our experience the sharper the rise in application numbers.

Communicate in waves – and keep the waves coming in

A successful association mentoring program requires significantly more than a single “announcement” email.  Remember that your members are not sitting at their desks awaiting the launch of this program.  You need to cut through their busy days and inboxes if you want to get engagement.

If you are planning to make your mentoring program an annual event then don’t forget that communicating the success of this year’s program is an important part of marketing for next year.

We recommend that you plan your member communication in four stages:

  1. Coming soon!

Let members know that the mentoring program is coming, where to look for more information and potentially how to add their names to a waiting list.  This might be communicated through newsletters, Association magazine, conferences or other traditional means of member communication in the weeks leading up to your launch.

  1. Applications open!

Let members know that the program has launched and is ready to accept applications.  Urge people to enrol early for the best chance of a good match.  This is best done with a personalized email (and bear in mind our tip to have this email come from someone senior).

  1. Applications about to close!

Alert members when applications are about to close, urging them to act quickly.  The approaching close date can be communicated in newsletters and then reinforced with a personalized email.

  1. Program success stories

Let members know about your program success by publishing profiles of successful pairs in your newsletter and/or Association magazine.  Not only does this reinforce the value your Association is adding, it also primes members for next year’s program.

Tell the Whole Story

Don’t assume that your members will have a clear understanding of how a mentoring program works or why it might be beneficial to their career.  When launching your program ensure that your communications give a complete picture.

The following information should be included either in your direct emails, or through a link to a program description on your website.

  1. Explain the why!

Provide members with a compelling reason to sign up.  Explain the overarching purpose of the program.  Then outline the specific benefits to both mentors and mentees.

  1. Set expectations

Make clear the level and nature of the commitment required.  Explain the duration of the program, the training they will be expected to attend and the likely frequency of meetings so they can decide if they have the time.  Clarify whether interaction is to be face-to-face or virtual.  If places are limited, explain that not every application will be successful.  The better job you do setting the expectations, the less likely that you will experience dropouts once the program commences.

  1. Call to action

Highlight the application close dates and next steps so members are very clear about what action they need to take.

Keep Talking Even After the Program is Over

Once your mentoring program has reached a successful conclusion it’s tempting to think that your marketing job is done.  In fact, your marketing job for next year’s program has just begun.

Compile the results of any surveys and other data available from the mentoring program and report back to the board.  Do this while the program and your sense of achievement is still fresh.  Now is the time to make your case to secure funding for future programs.

And get ready to start again.

Need some inspiration? Check our case study with Australian Veterinary Association.

Men Mentoring Women: Can It Change the System?

Men Mentoring Women: Can It Change the System?

Like many women (and men), I believe that ‘the system’ itself needs to change before the female half of our population will be appropriately represented in the echelons of power.  (By the system, I mean the ingrained habits, behaviours and rewards in place in most work environments – they are the invisible ‘rules’ that have been made mostly by men because men have been in positions of power.)

Even as an advocate for the power of mentoring, I do not believe that mentoring women is magically going to fix ‘the system’. However, if men in positions of power mentor women, and do so in an appropriate and empowering fashion, then more women may rise to the top and feel confident in positions of power.

The more women comfortably inhabit the top ranks, the more likely the system will change. In addition, men who mentor women often experience a change in their understanding of what it is like to be a woman in their business or profession, and this in turn can influence how the rules continue to be made.

The key words there are “appropriate and empowering”.  We do not want to mentor women to behave just like men.

The goal instead must be to enable them to deal with power confidently, while still remaining women.

I recently finished reading Athena Rising: How and Why Men Should Mentor Women.  The authors are two men with military and academic careers, who have personally witnessed some of the most male-dominated workplaces.

Although women were interviewed as part of the research for the book, it ultimately brings a very male perspective to the art of mentoring women.

Some of the 46 dos and don’ts listed in the book really resonated with me as important in truly empowering women through mentoring.  So if you are a man who is mentoring a woman and you don’t have time to read the whole book, here are my top eight from the list.

The first three relate to confronting feelings about and behaviour toward women that you may not even be aware are happening.

  1. Know Thyself: Confront your Gender Biases

I agree with the authors on the importance of recognising those unconscious assumptions we make about each other every day.  Attitudes and expectations about women are so deep-seated that you may not even be conscious of them.  Work to recognise your own beliefs before the relationship begins.  (The book has a few good exercises you can try.)

 

  1. Let her cry if she needs to cry

It is so important that tears are not seen as a sign of weakness or incompetence.  Women do tend to cry more than men, but as the authors put it, “Tears are not inconsistent with excellent work, including first-rate leadership.”

  1. Make Sure She Gets Included

The book very well describes the phenomenon of women being excluded, while men are completely impervious to their isolation.  As a man mentoring a woman one of the most valuable contributions you can make to her career is simply ensuring that she is included in key meetings, has access to key information and does not allow herself to be taken for granted.

The next points relate to “male” behaviour that needs to be kept in check when mentoring women.

  1. Be honest, direct and unconditionally accepting

Men are socially conditioned to believe it is ungentlemanly to hurt a woman or make her cry.  While noble, this attitude can be limiting to a female mentee.  In order to facilitate growth, a mentor must not pull punches with a mentee, regardless of gender.

  1. Help her construct a rich constellation of career helpers

As the authors so beautifully put it, “for goodness sake, don’t do the guru thing”.  Men are encouraged to avoid protective and possessive behaviour with their female mentees.  Instead open doors to your networks and allow her to collect a range of career helpers.

These next two points are particularly relevant when mentoring a woman in a very male-dominated environment.

  1. Don’t promote her before she’s ready

This advice seems counter-intuitive, but touches on a very real trap for many women.  In organisations with a dearth of women at the top, there can be pressure to push a mentee up the chain as quickly as possible.  The authors correctly identify this as “benign sabotage”.  Push too hard or too fast and you will set your mentee up for a fall.

  1. Affirm that she belongs (over and over)

I wish it were otherwise, but the authors are correct in identifying that woman can suffer imposter syndrome in a male-centric environment.  Sometimes a woman’s biggest barrier to success is her own self-doubt.  Male mentors need to understand this phenomenon, be sensitive to the signs and look for every opportunity to confirm that she belongs at the top.

This final point is my personal favourite.

  1. No cloning allowed!

This advice is relevant in almost any mentoring relationship.  After all, we mentor to enable mentees to grow and become empowered, not to create a bunch of Mini-Mes.

It is particularly important that men not try to mould their female mentees in their own image.  What is needed, both for women as individuals and for the goal of a gender-balanced workplace, is for women to develop as authentic leaders – not as male mimics.

By Melissa Richardson

Lapsed members: making the call

Lapsed members: making the call!

Guest blog from Optimum Contact

Retaining a membership base is a real challenge for associations, and it’s a problem that is not going away. Conservative sources estimate that it costs up to ten times more to acquire a new member than it does to keep an existing one.

According to association membership expert Belinda Moore from Strategic Membership Solutions:

“A number of powerful generational, cultural, and economic forces are colliding to create a perfect storm that will make the next 5-20 years some of the toughest ever faced by associations. Associations who don’t adapt face a slow decline into obscurity as they are replaced by newer, more innovative, less bureaucratically challenged, less change resistant competitors.”

When it comes to renewing memberships, following up lapsed memberships, promoting an upcoming event, updating database records, or conducting member pulse-surveys sending email or direct mail is a low cost way to communicate with your members but with busy lives and competing schedules what can you do to cut through the noise?

Telemarketing or call campaigns can take many forms, inbound, outbound, continuous or occasional – It’s cheaper than personal sales and generally gets a better response rate than direct mail and it can be – and should be – customer centric, engaging, and a key part of your customer engagement strategy. Results are easy to track and members respond well to ‘human-to-human’ contact, but where do you start?

We caught up with Optimum Contact Manging Director Colin Perry to discuss some of their recent membership renewal outbound telephone contact campaigns.

 

How do members generally react when contacted by phone about a lapsed membership on behalf of an association client?

We know that for many members, allowing a membership to lapse is not deliberate. In fact, it often comes down to simple factors over which associations have some control, like a change in contact details, or simply forgetting to pay a renewal invoice or notice. Lapsed members are often thankful for the call. After all, the last thing they want is their professional accreditation, member support, benefits, and tax deduction to lapse.

Bottom line – what’s the ROI? 

It varies from association to association. The main variables are accuracy of contact details, price sensitivity, the level of competition from similar associations, and other external factors like the time of year when we’re asked to make the call.

We partnered with a national trade union with a diverse member base to manage their member renewal campaign and to re-connect with a significant number of lapsed members; in fact some members had not been connected to the union for more than two years.

We established a specialised outbound team to proactively engage their members and to help grow awareness of membership benefits. We renewed over 600 members during a 7 day campaign, with fees of over $500,000 returned to the client: an ROI of over 1,200%. Additional benefits of cleansed data and detailed insights were also provided to the client, to assist in future campaigns.

What’s one of the most interesting outcomes from a campaign?

Pretend members or those that know that they aren’t financial members of their professional association but still present to the public as current members.

Research for one particular association revealed that 15 per cent of all members who left continued to claim membership.

For many professionals, association membership represents professionalism and a measure of quality, integrity and trustworthiness. It’s pretty unfair when un-financial members claim membership through logos on their website, business cards, on social media, or at their physical premises.

However, even ‘pretend’ members can present an opportunity for retention and growth – In some cases, they may still feel connected to the association. Perhaps they can’t afford the fees at this time, which is an opportunity for the association to consider application of a payment arrangement or hardship policy to support the member.

Handled well, a conversation with a lost member can end up being an ideal opportunity to either re-connect, or preserve a hard-won association brand.

Surely not all phone calls go well?

That’s true! We find that disengaged members are quite happy to tell us what they think about their association if they are unhappy. This valuable intelligence is collected, analysed and delivered to our clients with clear recommendations.

What have been your biggest lessons from contact campaigns?

One stands out – A campaign for an association that was “urgent” and with a very short lead time. As part of our project scope it’s important to understand the environment and we go through a very detailed partner journey of information gathering, training and development. Despite this, we were not informed about a recent ‘stoush’ in the organisation that had divided members. We were tasked with conducting a satisfaction survey and many those members were nowhere near satisfied

The ‘value-add’ was not being connected to the politics of it all, but we were able to probe for the real issues and provide relevant, useful intelligence to the association which they were able to use immediately. However, a ‘heads-up’ would have been helpful!

Where to next?

If you are thinking of adding outbound call campaigns to your membership program, if you’re ready to get started and would like more information Optimum Contact can tailor a program directly to your needs.

For more information please contact Optimum or take a look at their website www.optimumcontact.com.au or call 1300 017 293.

Working with SUIs – Significant Unresolved Issues

Working with SUIs – Significant Unresolved Issues

The concept of SUIs – Significant Unresolved Issues arose from David Clutterbuck’s unpublished research in the 1990s on what issues mentees brought to their mentors for discussion. Participants in workshops were asked to write down and reflect upon all the issues, about which they felt a level of anxiety that they had not resolved them, or found time to think through.

Comparing these lists with how people felt about their levels of stress and ability to focus on their work, a very rough and ready guide emerged that most people in professional and managerial roles, who were mature, stable in personality, and mentally healthy, could cope with between 25 and 35 SUI’s before they noticed a severe impact on their ability to cope.

Comparing these lists with how people felt about their levels of stress and ability to focus on their work, a very rough and ready guide emerged that most people in professional and managerial roles, who were mature, stable in personality, and mentally healthy, could cope with between 25 and 35 SUI’s before they noticed a severe impact on their ability to cope.

Of course, this crude indicator couldn’t take into account the intensity of the SUIs – just one major issue (for example, a life-threatening health matter) could have the same effect. What’s more, people vary considerably in terms of their personal resilience. So over the years, the approach has been refined so that the person listing their SUIs assigns them an anxiety score of 1-10, with 1 indicating “I am not worried about this at all” and 10 indicating “I am in

So over the years, the approach has been refined so that the person listing their SUIs assigns them an anxiety score of 1-10, with 1 indicating “I am not worried about this at all” and 10 indicating “I am in total panic about this”. Multiplying the score for each item by itself and adding these secondary scores together gives an overall score. So 5 SUIs at an anxiety strength of 6, would give a score of 5 X 36 = 180. A score of 10 on one issue would equal 100 SUI points.

For a coachee or mentee under stress, it is helpful to help them work through this analysis until they have an understanding of the scope and pattern things they need to think through. If they have an issues with an initial score of 10 (so 100 SUI points), it is normally necessary to help them reduce their anxiety level about this first, by establishing some control of the situation, before they can attend to lesser issues.

As a tool of self-management, reviewing SUIs in this way helps people decide what they want to focus attention on first. Many people use the tactic of “rewarding” themselves for dealing with a relatively high-point issue (say 36 or above) by allocating the next hour or so to working through a batch of lower scoring items – this can be very satisfying! The process also helps them to work out when to seek help – “When I see my total points going over 150, I know I’m in trouble…”  — and to become aware of repeating patterns of SUIs.

In general, the greater the level of anxiety someone feels about not having dealt with an issue, the more important it is to have a reflective conversation about it, both with themselves and with someone else, who can help them with the quality of their thinking about it. We therefore now recommend that coachees and mentees include some time for this in their preparations for coaching and mentoring sessions.

We have only anecdotal evidence for the impact this has on building a person’s resilience, but it appears that regularly reviewing SUIs leads people to develop better tactics for self-management, become more skilled at knowing when to say “No”, and to re-establish more rapidly a sense of being in control when anxiety-producing issues mount up. With practice, people learn recalibrate their own thresholds, such as when it is important to take time out and step away from single problems and examine their SUIs from a wider perspective.

© David Clutterbuck, 2017

When Mentoring Gets Emotional

When Mentoring Gets Emotional   

It can feel pretty uncomfortable when a mentee bursts into tears or blows their top.  This wasn’t what you thought you signed up for, as a mentor!  However, a mentoring relationship is a human relationship and emotions will play a part whether that relationship is formal or casual, personal or career-focused.

An emotional reaction may be triggered by the subject of a mentoring conversation, or may explode due to factors about which you have no understanding.  The danger is that mishandling emotions can damage the trust that is so vital to a good mentoring relationship.  However, when handled properly, the release of emotion can lead you and your mentee to a new level of understanding, and help your mentee to face up to roadblocks that may be limiting his or her potential.

We share some techniques for managing emotional outpourings in a way that will be positive for the relationship and for your mentee’s development.

Acknowledge the Emotion

Acknowledge the emotion and give your mentee a chance to collect their thoughts.  If your mentee is crying, now is a good time to hand them a tissue.  Consider words like, “I can see you are angry and upset.”

Avoid Judgment

Understand that emotions like fear, rage or sorrow can be roadblocks preventing your mentee from moving forward.  Rather than judging your mentee for their apparent lack of emotional control, see this as a chance to hold an amazing conversation that may be life changing for your mentee – and maybe even for you.

Be Aware of Gender Differences

If you are in a cross-gender mentoring relationship be cognizant that there are genuine differences in emotional responses, influenced by both biological and cultural factors.

In her book It’s It’s Always Personal, Anne Kreamer explains that women tend to be more emotionally constrained at work, because anger might be seen as “bitchiness”.  So suppressed anger and frustration may be released as tears. Biology plays a part as well.  Women have six times as much prolactin as men, a hormone related to crying.

In researching her book, Kreamer found that two thirds of men believe displaying anger is an effective management tool.  Unsurprisingly, men are more likely to allow anger to erupt than to stew over it.

Check in with Your Own Emotions

Emotion often begets emotion.  An angry outburst can trigger feelings of intimidation or a need to “give them a taste of their own medicine”.  Pause and take stock of your own feelings before you rush to deal with your mentee’s.

Remind Them Why You Are Here

Emotions may arise as a result of feedback you have provided.  In this instance it is important to remind your mentee that you are here to help.  Use words like, “I need to give you this feedback because I want you to be successful.”

Move the Conversation to a Productive Place

If emotions are spiralling out of control, it might be time to help your mentee move from a reactive to a thinking state.  If the situation feels hopelessly out of control, then you can offer to reschedule.  But this should be a last resort.  It is much better to allow time to recoup than for your mentee to feel that their emotion was somehow wrong.

Clinical psychologist Dr. Albert J Bernstein explained one technique for redirecting the conversation in his book Dinosaur Brains: Dealing with Impossible People at Work. The trick, he says, is to stop escalating emotion with two simple lines.

“Please speak more slowly.  I’d like to help.”  This statement breaks the pattern in the emotional person’s head. Slow means calm, and calm makes it easier to access your thinking brain.

“What would you like me to do?”  This simple question starts to move the emotional person from the primitive, emotional part of their brain into the thinking/rational part.

Ask Questions

Regardless of what is causing the emotion, you are much better to offer questions than answers.  As Bernstein says, “Explaining is always a disguised form of fighting back”.

Asking questions is far more likely to calm your mentee down and lead the conversation onto firmer ground.  Curiosity can also lead you both to better understanding.  It is quite possible your mentee doesn’t know what is driving their behaviour.  Your questions will help them to self-discovery.

This is a chance to hold an amazing conversation that could hone your mentoring skills and unlock your mentee’s potential.

Helping Your Coachee or Mentee Develop Resilience

Helping your coachee or mentee develop resilience

In challenging working environments, resilience is increasingly an essential competence. People, who are resilient, are better able to cope with unexpected change, with setbacks and disappointments, with high stress environments and with periods of excessive workload. The signs of low resilience are generally easy to spot. They include inability to make decisions, frequent minor physical ailments, reduced self-confidence, feeling overwhelmed, lower tolerance and short temper. Coaches and mentors can help in two main ways:

  • Enabling the coachee or mentee to cope with current situations (resilience in the moment)
  • Building their overall level of resilience (resilience capacity)

In the first of these two situations, the primary focus is on reducing the stressors that are causing them to feel that their work life is out of control. The simplest way of doing this is to develop with them a list of all the things that are putting them under pressure, then to work through each item examining what they could do practically to ease that pressure. Frequently, the solution lies in a mixture of conversations they have so far avoided with other people (about the level of stress their expectations or behaviour are causing) and with themselves (for example, having greater clarity about when and how to say no).

It’s also helpful to refocus their attention on what is good about life. When we feel overwhelmed, we tend to be aware only of the negatives. Useful questions include:

  • What can you be grateful for?
  • Where can you still find joy in your life?

This subtle shift of attention can be remarkably effective in increasing resilience in the here and now.

When it comes to helping them build resilience, a good starting point is to clarify the characteristics of highly resilient people and explore with them how they might absorb some or all of these characteristics into their own way of thinking. A helpful overview of resilience characteristics comes from Proctor[1], who describes them as:

  • Optimism – expecting change to have positive outcomes, as long as you look for them
  • Self-assuredness – a strong, realistic view of their own capabilities to manage new or difficult situations
  • Focus – being able to establish and work to clear priorities, even in the midst of uncertainty
  • Openness to ideas – they look for and are positive about applying new thinking
  • Willing to ask for support – they are not afraid to ask for help when they need it
  • Structured – they step back from problems or changes and envision flexible plans to address them (for example, with alternative scenarios)
  • Being proactive – they prefer to initiate change rather than be overtaken by it.

Even a very brief conversation can establish which of these characteristics are least developed and which the coachee or mentee would like to work on. Simply clarifying these concepts is a first step towards building resilience.

Developing optimism requires a shift in attention, from noticing all the problems and barriers around them to noticing more of the pleasures and opportunities. Keeping a “joy diary” – a daily record of things you are grateful for – is one practical method. Also helpful is choosing to associate with people who are optimistic – pessimists tend to attract pessimists and repel optimists. Seeking out situations and surrounding oneself with things that amuse also promotes optimism – environments with laughter tend to be more optimistic and more creative.

Self-assuredness comes from a justified self-belief. Regularly recording accomplishments and learning can help here, though seeking praise from others can have the opposite effect. On simple technique is to establish at the beginning of each day, each week and each month one small but meaningful thing you will accomplish that will make you respect and/or like yourself more and to invest effort in making that happen. Another is to ensure that you do at least one act of kindness every day.

Being focused can be difficult when you are under stress. It helps here to step away from the stress-causing environment (preferably literally by, for example, taking a walk) and having quiet contemplative time to work out what is really important and why. Meditation works in a similar way for some people. And of course, the coaching or mentoring conversation is a safe and protected environment where this kind of constructive, purposeful thinking can take place.

Being open to new ideas requires yet another mind shift that can be helped by simple tools, such as the three layers of learning. Most intentional learning tends to happen by focusing on knowledge or skills needs directly related to the job role a person has. But there is also great benefit to be derived from acquiring peripheral learning that widens understanding of things that impact the core role; and ad hoc learning that has no immediate connection to the core role. The most significant new ideas and insights come from these two latter areas. To access these, we can widen the network of people we interact with and the range of topics that we read about. A useful coaching question here is: How many conversations have you had this week that have given you significant new insights?

Willingness to ask for support is often a matter of confidence. If we are afraid to be vulnerable, or to look stupid, we often try to struggle on, on our own. The secret here is to start by giving support to others, which makes it much easier to ask people to reciprocate. It’s like building a bank of helpfulness – the more in credit you are, the easier it is to get a loan when you need it. The coach or mentor can help the coachee or mentee recognise the real or potential support networks they have, then to plan how to both expand and strengthen these.

Structured thinking and planning. For most people, careers are a series of unmanaged and unconsidered changes. Careers happen to them, rather than happen as a result of their imagination and intentional action. The coach or mentor can help the coachee or mentee create and work with a flexible plan of strategic opportunism, reviewing it frequently against the coachee or mentee’s personal development and evolving opportunities in the world around them. Knowing that you have a fall-back plan (or several) increases confidence in the face of threatening change – you simply start to invest more energy into paths that you have already mapped out.

Being proactive. Coaches and mentors can’t easily teach coachees or mentees to become more proactive – that stems from a deep internal motivation. But they can help the coachee or mentee develop the habit of anticipating change and looking for ways to meet it with innovative changes of their own that give them more sense of control over what is happening. Simple tools, such as a personal SWOT[2] analysis, start the thinking process, and lay the ground for imagining different futures, which in turn can create a stimulus for proactivity.

Seeing clients grow in resilience is one of the most gratifying parts of being a coach or mentor. In short-term assignments, we don’t often see the full impact of these changes, because they can take a while to bear fruit. But when we keep in touch over the longer time, we frequently find that the coachee or mentee has gradually learned to embrace and thrive on change that would previously have stressed or diminished them.

© David Clutterbuck, 2017

[1] Proctor, A (2014) Increase your resilience to change www.linkedin.com/pulse/20121209100529-8521084-increase-your-resilience-to-change, accessed 6 Feb 2017

[2] Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats

Are we failing our executives?

Are our executives failing us…or are we failing our executives?

In this era of rapid change, organisations are reliant on their executives to make wise decisions and lead their teams judiciously through challenges. Yet, at precisely the time when wisdom is most needed, we are increasingly placing our trust in young, inexperienced leaders, hoping that a tech savvy generation has what it takes to handle the frightening pace of technological change.

Perhaps then, we should be unsurprised to learn that these new executives are letting us down – with 50-70% of executives failing within the first 18 months, according to a new study.

The cost of each executive failure is extremely high. Not only are there the usual HR costs, there are also the immeasurable costs of the stuff ups and low morale that stem from weak leadership. And, of course, there is the likely loss of a valuable person.

What is so frustrating about these statistics is that so many of these failures could be avoided. The 10-year longitudinal study that produced these numbers also very clearly demonstrated their root cause: new (often young) executives are quite simply unprepared and unsupported.

The study included 2,600 in-depth interviews with F1000 executives. When asked if they were prepared for their role:

  • 69% were either minimally prepared or not prepared at all;
  • 45% said they had little foresight into or understanding of the challenges they would face in an executive role;
  • 76% felt their organisation’s formal development process was either minimally or not at all helpful;
  • 55% said they had minimal, if any, ongoing coaching or feedback;
  • more than half felt that the decisions they are being asked to make are more complicated than they expected.

The truth is that we are failing our executives by not providing them with the support they need at one of the most stressful times in their careers. Here is an entire cohort of young, talented people, who are not coping, in a political environment that too often leaves them with no one to confide in. If ever there was a time when a trusted and experienced mentor could add value, this must be it!

Mentoring is an ideal support mechanism for new executives. An experienced leader can help a new executive to understand the political landscape, come to terms with their newfound power and accompanying self-doubts and make the shift from task focus to strategic leadership

That seems so obvious, yet we don’t often enough see mentoring programs designed for new leaders, once they are in the new role.

Being prepared for leadership is one thing; actually being a leader is quite another. Even with the best advance preparation, the shock of entirely new levels of responsibility and expectation will be difficult for most new executives, particularly those who are young and lacking life experience.

We are currently working with The Australian Society of Association Executives (AuSAE) on a mentoring program for new CEOs. Launched in mid-October 2016, the program matches current and soon-to-be CEOs with experienced CEOs. The very act of launching this program acknowledges that a new CEO, while doubtless intelligent, talented and experienced, has a steep learning curve to negotiate and could use some support.

We encourage other large organisations and associations to follow this lead and develop mentoring programs that acknowledge that even leaders need support.

It is unacceptable that over half our new executives are struggling and failing when mentoring support could so easily help people to find their feet in a leadership role. It is time to stop failing our executives.

Questioning your competence as a mentor

Why coaches and mentors shouldn’t beat themselves up when client change doesn’t happen

Every beginner coach or mentor goes through a phase of questioning their own competence, based upon a sense that they could (or should) have had so much more impact. Even very experienced coaches and mentors sometimes feel that they have “failed” their client. While there are some professional coaches and mentors, who think they are worth far more than they are paid, it’s more common for effective coaches to harbour doubts about whether they are giving good money’s worth.

One of the restorative functions of professional supervision is to help restore a realistic balance between learning from every assignment and managing expectations about what it is reasonable to achieve in a given time period or a given number of meetings.

The key issues to consider here begin with the purpose of the coaching/mentoring relationship and the purpose of coaching and mentoring in general. It’s a common misassumption that the purpose of coaching or mentoring generally is to resolve a client’s problem or issue. The dangers with such an assumption are that it shifts responsibility subtly from the client to the coach/mentor and that it encourages the coach/mentor to do too much. In reality, the purpose of coaching and mentoring are to help the client become more aware – of themselves, of the world around them and of the interaction between these – and as result be able to make better informed decisions and take more control of their circumstances.

The purpose of the mentoring conversation equally is not to come to decision. It is to advance the client’s thinking to the point where they can either make a decision, or have a shift of perception, on which they can reflect – when they are ready to do so. Jumping to solutions too early is not helpful for the client – and the “right” time for decisions and resulting change may be well into the future. A while ago, someone, who I had given some brief coaching to 15 years before, wrote to thank me for the questions I had asked, explaining that it had taken him most of that time to answer them to his satisfaction and then to make significant changes in his life and work.

What we can achieve through coaching and mentoring is limited by many factors, among them:

  • What the client is capable of (their physical, emotional, intellectual and other resources)
  • The client’s interests and motivations
  • The many systems of which the client is a part. When a client does not implement changes they say they want to happen, the reason is often that there are strong forces preventing them from doing so. These might include colleagues, who are resistant to change, or a boss, who doesn’t want to provide support when it is needed.

When two or more of these limiters operate together (for example, when a manager keeps getting involved in the detail, because that’s what she enjoys, and her team go along with it, because it is easier for them to delegate responsibility upwards), then the task of the coach or mentor becomes much harder. While you can be helpful to them in developing greater understanding of these systems and systemic ways of bringing about change, some systems are just too powerful to change through coaching or mentoring alone. The coach or mentor has little opportunity to exert direct influence on the situation.

In measuring the success of our coaching or mentoring, therefore, we can look to the question What has changed in the client’s capability to self-manage the issues we have explored together? Measuring whether specific goals have been achieved is, of course, often valid – but we should not confuse these relatively simple, relatively easily delivered impacts with the deeper learning that takes place in the truly effective coaching or mentoring conversation.

And if our conversations do not bring about these simple achievement goals? Rather than beat ourselves up about what we did or didn’t do, better to reflect upon:

  • What learning can we draw from the factors, that limited the client’s ability to bring about the desired changes?
  • What is it about the client’s systems that inhibits change?
  • If the systems inhibiting change are too powerful to overcome with coaching or mentoring, what can the client do to move to a more supportive environment, where they can break ingrained dysfunctional behaviours and ways of thinking?
  • What will you leave them with, which will make them more self-aware and more capable of facing future challenges?

Above all, it is important to be compassionate towards ourselves for our imperfections as coaches or mentors. Remember that every coaching or mentoring conversation that delivers lasting change is an experiment — one of a series of trials that progressively develop the insight and knowledge the client needs to fulfil their aspirations. If we can let go of the need to be perfect, the need to demonstrate that we are adding value and the need to help the client find immediate answers, we can be much more relaxed and attentive in our coaching and mentoring. And that allows us to grow our own capabilities as agents of change.

© David Clutterbuck, 2017

Is “Speed Mentoring” Really Mentoring?

Is “Speed Mentoring” Really Mentoring?

“Speed mentoring”, also referred to as “flash mentoring”, has been in vogue for a couple of years.  Its roots in speed dating have made me uncomfortable from the moment it came on the scene, but now that the phenomenon seems to be enduring, I feel it’s time to seriously consider whether one can justifiably call it mentoring.

Basically, speed mentoring involves a “mentee” rotating between a number of different “mentors”, with a limited time available to meet each “mentor” and garner some knowledge or advice.  The term and basic methodology is used for two quite different functions.  In both cases, I would argue that the use of the word “mentoring” is misplaced.

In some instances “speed mentoring” is a discrete event. It is quite simply a social affair where younger, less experienced people are given an opportunity to gain guidance and input from a range of more experienced people.  These events usually involve a lot of mingling up front, followed by the “speed mentoring” merry-go-round.

While I do not question the potential value (and fun) offered by such an affair, I do question the use of the word “mentoring” when referring to this sort of function.  “Speed networking”: yes.  “Speed consulting”: possibly.  “Speed mentoring”: no.

Real and meaningful mentoring is founded upon a relationship.  It is not something that can be provided in a quick 10 minutes accompanied by a glass or two of wine.  Understanding and trust are vital to a nurturing mentoring relationship.  Neither can be gained in the din of a fast and furious round of musical mentors.

So, by all means, continue to hold flash “meet the experts” events.  They are, no doubt, a fun and effective way to network and gain some valuable insights.  But please, stop calling it “mentoring”.

In other instances, “speed mentoring” is one part of a broader mentoring program.  Mentors and mentees involved in a long-term mentoring program meet in a social setting.  Mentees circulate to meet all potential mentors and subsequently nominate their preferred mentor(s).

There is merit in incorporating this sort of event into the matching process, but I would suggest it should be called “speed matching” because the mentoring relationship has not even begun at this stage.

The advantage of “speed matching” is that it allows mentees to have some say in the matching process and the fun, social aspects of the event encourage bonding.  The disadvantage is that it may lead to poor matching.  Unless mentees have been well trained in questioning techniques and briefed on how to choose a mentor, they may make their selections based solely on personality, and ignore fit.  My preference would be for program managers to do some preliminary matching and narrow down the options for each mentee before setting them loose on “speed matching”.

Here again, I welcome the continued use of this technique as part of the matching process, but rankle at the use of the term “speed mentoring” to describe the activity.

It may seem that I am making an argument of pure semantics.  After all, who really cares whether it’s called “speed mentoring”, “speed networking” or “speed matching”?

Obviously I do, and I care because this loose use of words threatens to diminish the extraordinary significance of a true mentoring relationship. It is worth retaining the higher values associated with the word mentorship. That word conjures the ongoing commitment, development and support of one person to enrich the life of another. Anyone who has ever had a genuine mentor knows that there is nothing “speed” or “flash” about mentorship.

Helping the coachee or mentee work with anger

Helping the coachee or mentee work with anger

While anger is usually seen as an unhelpful emotion, it doesn’t have to be so. Managed anger can be a force for good, and has been a significant factor in every peaceful social change, from the abolition of slavery to equal opportunities at work and in society. While someone, who seems to be angry about everything, requires specialist help from a counsellor or psychotherapist, coaches and mentors can provide valuable support to someone, whose anger concerns a specific issue or situation.

Unmanaged anger tends to be dysfunctional, because it alienates others and reduces their willingness to support or collaborate or even listen to us, even if they are only spectators. Unmanaged anger tends to push us towards extremes – for example, “You are either with us or against us”. And it tends to make us less respected. It also makes us less able to listen to others, or to consider other perspectives.

Managed anger achieves exactly the opposite. When a black woman recorded and streamed her conversation with the white policeman, who had just shot her innocent partner, the driver of their car, it was her presence of mind and manifest control of her anger that gave her credibility and a tsunami of support across America.

So how can we help someone work with their anger to achieve positive outcomes? A practical approach involves four stages:

  • Recognise and accept the anger
  • Clarify the cause
  • Clarify the purpose
  • Make choices (about how to feel and how to behave) that are more likely to achieve positive outcomes

 

Recognise and accept the anger

Much of the intensity of anger comes from or perception that are feelings, needs and views are not being taken seriously. Simply acknowledging the anger can start the process of helping them feel sufficiently supported to confront their emotions. Use language such as “I can feel just how angry you are” to establish common feeling. Then you can begin to shift their focus from simply feeling to thinking about feeling. Here is one useful approach:

  • What do you think the outcome is likely to be, if you let your anger drive you, instead of you taking control of it?
  • How could we use this anger positively?
  • Let’s explore what’s going on here and how you might gain greater control…

 

Clarify the cause

Anger can arise from a wide variety of sources. Among the most common are:

  • Needing to assign blame for a loss or failure
  • Feeling that something is unfair or “wrong”
  • Feeling threatened, either directly or indirectly (for example, if you feel something important to you is under threat)
  • Loss of autonomy, feeling disempowered or manipulated

It can be tempting, as the story unfolds, to challenge the assumptions the coachee/ mentee is making. However, this may simply increase their sense of frustration and anger. It’s better to help them capture the sequence of events, so that they can start to challenge themselves. The sequence will normally be:

  • Stimulus (what happened to them, what someone else said or did)
  • Instinctive unconscious reaction (what fear or other reaction occurred)
  • Conscious reaction (feeling angry)
  • Resulting behaviour
  • Outcomes (e.g. not being able to shake off the anger)

It helps to preface this process with a statement like: “Try not to be judgemental towards anyone — for example, by making assumptions about their motives. Most of all, try not to be judgemental about yourself.” This tends to promote a more balanced and open exploration.

 

Clarify the purpose

The key questions here are:

  • What does being angry do for you or get you?
  • What could it do for you, if you managed it constructively?

These two questions either help people understand that being angry is not going to help them achieve the outcomes they want; or it connects their anger to a broader change agenda, beyond the here and now i.e. to a higher purpose.

 

Choices

Depending on the purposes identified, the coachee/ mentee now has an opportunity to choose whether to replace their anger with a more positive emotion, such as forgiveness; or to manage it as a source of motivation to bring about change. If they wish to change their emotion, then you can help them identify and overcome the limiting beliefs and assumptions that cause them to feel hurt, isolated, resentful and so on. If they wish to work with and channel their anger, you can help them plan how they can engage with others to drive a wider agenda of change together.

This four-stage process provides a structure for reflection and learning beyond the immediate emotional logjam. Experience shows that coachees/mentees can quickly absorb this way of thinking into their general behavioural repertoire, so that they recognise and value their anger as an indicator of potential to bring about positive change, either in their environment, or in themselves.